Written January 29, 2020
Answer this question to yourself: When are you your most authentic self?
Many people often see their positive traits as their authentic self, saying things like “that wasn’t me” when they’ve acted in unkind ways.
However, every aspect of who we are is an authentic part of ourselves. It’s when mind, body, and soul harmonize that we can access a loving state that feels like a deeper truth. When we tend to the layers that keep our truth hidden, we can unveil a more vulnerable, loving self.
We all have layers—those walls built from fear, societal expectations, or past hurts. These layers protect us, but also keep us from experiencing our truest, most vulnerable selves.
We are the core and the layers that protect that core. We are the actor and the observer.
There are parts of myself that I sometimes reject because they feel unlikable. I’ve learned to present mostly my positive traits because I don’t want to feel rejection. I keep judgments and anger to myself, thinking I’ll work through them on my own without the judgment of others. But that doesn’t mean they’re not there.
I’ve had some anger rise up over the last week about people’s phoniness. I’ve felt frustrated by people pretending to be loving, while I can sense the anger buried beneath. That frustration stirred something within me, making me pause and reflect. Rather than focusing solely on what others are doing, I asked myself:
What is my anger trying to show me about myself?
In what ways do I disguise my anger with pretend kindness?
I noticed a lot come up. I realized that I don’t often show my anger; instead, I try to stay “rational.”
When I dig deeper into my anger, I realize it’s not just about the phoniness I see in others—it’s about a longing for truth. It’s a frustration that the world sometimes feels so full of masks and facades. This anger is a reflection of my own desire to live authentically and to surround myself with people who do the same. It’s a call for clarity, for expression, and for raw, unfiltered connection.
In judging others for their phoniness, I realized that I’ve been frustrated by how, in some ways, I’ve been neglecting to communicate my own truths.
We often think our anger is telling us something about the outside world. But may we remember that anger can also show us so much about our internal world. Anger, like all emotions, isn’t something to hide or suppress—it’s a guide, a mirror, showing us where we need to heal or speak our truths. By embracing all parts of ourselves—our joy, our pain, our love, and our anger—we move closer to a more authentic life.
Authenticity isn’t just about the parts we like; it’s about accepting every layer that makes us whole.

Thoughts to contemplate:
Which parts of yourself do you most like and accept?
Which parts of others do you most like and accept?
Which parts of yourself do you most dislike and reject
Which parts of others do you most dislike and reject?
What would it be like to be more accepting of these rejected parts?
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